Source:	Web Archive, Savant’s scripts
Published:	2003-06-30
Archived:	2008-04-15

Script – Season one

Episode 4

Froggy:	His fifth plate!
Zoe:	One more for the record!
Everybody:	Go, Damien, go! (All talking and cheering)
Damien:	No, no, no. Wait a second. It’s missing something. Sauce.
Everybody:	Sauce! (All talking)
Froggy:	Go for it.
Brett:	Come on, Damien!
Jason:	You can do it!
Vanessa:	Oh, Damien. Don’t tell me. The garbage crusher’s broken down again and Damien’s volunteered for the job.
Damien:	It’s brain food, Vanessa.
Vanessa:	I don’t think there’s enough food in the entire world to build your brain, Damien.
Damien:	Okay, so you’re smarter than I am. Who cares?
Vanessa:	I’m not just smarter. I’m stronger too.
Everybody:	Oooooo!
Damien:	You wish!
Vanessa:	I’ll prove it. The loser does a chicken dance on the table.
Damien:	You just better watch where you lay your eggs, Vanessa. You’re on.
Vanessa:	Arms out.
Damien:	This is pathetic.
Froggy:	We have lift off.
Damien:	Totally amazing.
Vanessa:	Your turn.
Brett:	Come on, Dags. You can do it.
Damien:	Okay.
Brett:	Big muscles.
Damien:	I can’t. How did you do that?
Vanessa:	Cluck, cluck, Damien. (Making chicken noises)
Jodie:	Come on, Damien. Show us your chicken. Do that chicken dance.
Jason:	Damien. She fooled you. It was a trick.
Lee:	You’re a real riot, Vanessa.
Vanessa:	Guess who my diving buddy is today?

(whale sounds)

Froggy:	I didn’t touch anything!
Winston:	Relax, Froggy. It’s not your fault. It’s our friend.
Froggy:	Huh?
Dianne:	The whale. Something has frightened him.
Brett:	How do you know that, mum?
Dianne:	Oh, really, what do you think we do in here all day? Play computer games? We’re already starting to recognize some of his basic sounds. Come over here. I’ll show you. See this? They’re like sentences. This one is from last week when a pack of white pointer sharks passed through the area. (Whale sounds) You hear that? It’s almost the same, isn’t it? Which is a good bet that the whale is sending out another warning.
Froggy:	Do you know what about, Dr. Bates?
Dianne:	No, we don’t. But that’s what we’re working towards.
Brett:	Yeah, mum reckons she’s gonna learn their language.
Dianne:	Well, yeah. It’s a bit of a long way off but we’re hoping.
Winston:	Dianne. There’s our strange object again. And it’s moving away now.
Dianne:	Winston, just say it wasn’t a fault in the equipment. What do you think that thing could be?
Winston:	Whatever it is, it’s going somewhere – and fast.

Jason:	I was supposed to be diving with Tory today.
Vanessa:	We switched. I thought it might be a good chance to see what you get up to outside ORCA.
Jason:	What do you mean by that?
Vanessa:	Look, I know you and your brother are up to something. I’ve just got to find out what.
Jason:	You ready?
Vanessa:	Yeah, soon.
Jason:	Don’t be long. Come on, Vanessa. We have to – what are you doing here?
Neri:	Talk.
Jason:	Not while Vanessa’s there. You’ve gotta get out of here!
Neri:	Water bad. Go now.
Jason:	Why?
Neri:	Big shake. Wave will come. Go now.
Jason:	What do you mean shake? Earthquake?
Neri:	Earthquake, earth shake. Go now! Now!

Lee:	Hello?
Damien:	I think you’ve got the wrong room.
Lee:	I lost you when you turned into delta 7. I couldn’t find you anywhere.
Damien:	I’m not exactly lost.
Lee:	Okay, so you’re hiding out.
Damien:	I’m not hiding out. I always come here when I – when I’ve made a total dork of myself. I just want to be alone, okay. Have you got a hearing problem or something?
Lee:	At least I don’t have a dork problem.
Damien:	I was born with it. Die with it too, probably. Damien Arthur Geoffries. The underwater idiot. Deep-sea Dag.
Lee:	There must be something you’re really good at.
Damien:	Well, yeah. ’Course there is.
Lee:	What?
Damien:	It’ll come to me in a minute.

Commander:	An earthquake? Really? And do you have blinding evidence to support your theory?
Vanessa:	He’s crazy, sir. He dragged me out of the –
Commander:	Well?
Jason:	The forecasts. They must show something.
Commander:	HELEN, request for geological survey. Subject – disturbance.
HELEN:	Geology is stable, Commander.
Commander:	Thank you, HELEN.
HELEN:	You’re welcome, Commander.
Commander:	Now, I can only take it this is your idea of a joke, master Bates. So let me tell you something. I’ve had my eye on you since you’ve been on board and I don’t much like what I see. Now, I think you’ve wasted enough of our time, boy. So get off my bridge and about your business.
Vanessa:	Totally crackers.

(Rumbling)

Lee:	Come on, Damien. There must be something. Your music.
Damien:	Yes, well, my music does have a limited appeal. I’m the only one who likes it.
Lee:	I like it. I like what I heard you play.
Damien:	Yeah? I’ve almost finished my new song. But – you wouldn’t want to hear it.
Lee:	Of course I would.
Damien:	Yeah? I call it, song of a thousand voices. (Singing) (rumbling)
Damien:	Wow.
Lee:	How’d you do that?
Damien:	I don’t know.

HELEN:	Seismic activity detected. Hull breach in delta module. Sealing off area. Stand clear of bulkhead doors. Activity increasing. Brace for secondary shock.

Commander:	What happened to the early warning system?
Carly:	I don’t know, sir. Primary systems are down.
Commander:	Darn.
Jodie:	Oh, no. I’ve broken a nail.
Commander:	What’s that?
HELEN:	Running damage report Commander.
Commander:	Very good, HELEN.
Dianne:	I found Jason for you, Commander.
Commander:	Why didn’t you speak up louder, boy?
Jason:	Why didn’t you listen?
Commander:	Perhaps you’d like to explain how you obtained this information ahead of the ORCA sensors?
Jason:	It was – the sea life while I was diving this morning. They were all acting weird.
Commander:	You’re telling me a fish told you?
Jason:	Yes.
Dianne:	Actually, Commander, there is a great deal of evidence to suggest that animals do predict earthquakes. As a matter of fact, our subject whale was behaving strangely too.
Commander:	Doctor, it’s a coincidence. The boy got lucky.
HELEN:	Commander. We appear to have a crushed transit artery in delta 7.
Commander:	Visual, HELEN, and audio.
HELEN:	Audio has been rendered temporarily inoperative in that sector.
Jason:	Stop!
Commander:	What is it?
Jason:	Can we get a close-up? There on the floor. It’s a guitar. It’s Damien’s.

Lee:	I can’t move it. It won’t budge.
Damien:	Oh, no. Water. There’s water! I gotta get outta here. I gotta get outta here!
Lee:	It’s okay, Damien. Someone’ll come to help. It’ll be okay. Hey, it’s only water, isn’t it?
Damien:	I can’t swim!

HELEN:	Module delta is fractured. The area is flooding at 300 litres per minute.
Commander:	HELEN, I want the hatch in delta 7 opened immediately.
HELEN:	Negative, Commander. The transit artery is crushed.
Commander:	HELEN, the water’s coming in through the floor. The hatch is above. Opening the hatch is an acceptable risk.
HELEN:	Unacceptable, Commander. Considering the possibility of aftershocks.
Commander:	It’s an order!
HELEN:	Understood, Commander. But I cannot risk ORCA being flooded.
Commander:	There are people down there.
HELEN:	Two, Commander. I am responsible for 520 life forms. Two is an acceptable loss according to my programming.
Commander:	Carlyle, override this.
Caryle:	I’m sorry, sir, but that simply can’t be done.
Commander:	First –
First:	Commander?
Commander:	Get your top rescue team down there. We have to try and cut our way into delta 7 now.
First:	Yes, sir. This way! Go, go, go!

Jason:	Froggy! How much do you know about this computer?
Froggy:	HELEN? Hydro electronic liaison entity number 3000. Probably programmed to take control in a crisis.
Jason:	Can you hack into it?
Froggy:	They’re all the same. Logical.
Jason:	Well, come on! They need help!
Froggy:	Hey!

Officer:	No, we’ll have to use explosives.

HELEN:	No override is possible, Commander. Shall I calculate?
Commander:	Yes.
HELEN:	Water flow increasing. Rescue team will not reach the life forms in time.
Jason:	Why don’t you let Froggy try?
Commander:	You don’t understand what we’re up against, do you? HELEN’s programmed to protect the majority at all costs. She’ll actively resist any attempt to get through those doors.
Froggy:	Well, that’s what she’s meant to do.
Commander:	Nobody can get through.
Froggy:	Unless, of course, someone got into her higher functions. Made her change her mind.
Caryle:	Commander, any basic manual will tell you you can’t breach a 3000 that way.
Froggy:	It’s just a computer, sir. Isn’t it?

Damien:	What do you think it’ll be like?
Lee:	What?
Damien:	You know. Dying.
Lee:	Different, I guess. What do you think?
Damien:	Who cares what I think? I’m the underwater idiot, remember?
Lee:	I care and I don’t think you’re like that at all. You’re just –
Damien:	different.
Lee:	At least you’ve lived. I’d give anything to be different. But I’m always trying to fit in with dad’s idea of what I should be.
Damien:	Yeah, you know what I did once just trying to fit in? The stupidest thing I ever did. Have you ever run through your school assembly without any clothes on?
Lee:	You didn’t!
Damien:	I wish.

Froggy:	Some of this stuff is a snap.
HELEN:	Higher function. Valid code required. Negative. Valid code required. Shut down in 10 seconds.
Froggy:	Some of it’s not.
HELEN:	Nine. Eight. Seven.
Commander:	Tell him the code.
Caryle:	Sir?
Commander:	Tell him!
Caryle:	Zero-zero-h-three.
HELEN:	Two. Code valid. Continuing.
Commander:	What’s going on?
Froggy:	We’ve broken through HELEN’s higher functions.
Commander:	How much longer, Froggy?
Froggy:	This is where it gets tricky.

Damien:	Running through my school assembly – without any clothes on.
Lee:	Except for the red paint and chicken feathers.
Damien:	And wondering where the other 20 guys were who were supposed to be doing exactly the same thing.
Lee:	Duped.
Damien:	Sucked in seriously. Everybody waits for me to goof up. I guess it makes them feel cool. At least there’ll be one big plus coming out of this.
Lee:	Us being friends?
Damien:	You not being able to tell anybody about the red paint or the chicken feathers.

Froggy:	This might just do it for the outer door. Let’s see.

First:	It’s been activated. Get back. On to the next one. Come on!

Froggy:	One down, one to go.
Commander:	How much longer?
Froggy:	We’re getting close.
HELEN:	I know who you are, don’t I?
Froggy:	Yes, ma’am. Jake Reilly, Froggy.
HELEN:	What are you doing, Froggy?
Froggy:	Nothing. Just fooling around.
HELEN:	I don’t like you fooling around. You are in very serious trouble interfering with my higher functions.
Froggy:	Yes, ma’am. I’m going to stop right now.
HELEN:	Stop, Froggy.
Froggy:	Stopping, ma’am. Aah! She’s got a defence.
Commander:	Can you get around it?
Froggy:	No.
HELEN:	I tried to warn you, Froggy. 12 minutes, Commander. I hope you will accept my deepest regrets over this situation.

Damien:	Hey. Can you hold that for a minute?
Lee:	Sure.
Damien:	This is silly enough that it might just work.

Officer:	Just five minutes! Five!
First:	Move it!

Damien:	Those wires behind you there carry high frequency sound waves which triggers the door and tells it to open. If I can just match that frequency.
Lee:	With a guitar?
Damien:	Well, this thing’s got a pretty high frequency range. The way I play it it does anyway. So – here goes nothing.
Lee:	Hit it.
Damien:	Come on.
Lee:	Don’t give up. Try another chord.
Damien:	I only know three chords.
Lee:	Improvise.
Damien:	Attitude. It worked!
Lee:	And you said you weren’t good at anything.
Damien:	And you said you’d never lived. Go on, get out of here.
Lee:	All right.

Damien:	I can’t believe we got out of there alive. Oh.
Lee:	Great. What do we do now? Dad!
Commander:	Are you all right?
Lee:	Fine, Dad. If it wasn’t for Damien, we’d have drowned down there.
Commander:	Do you know how stupid it was to be in an unauthorized place? Do you? Right, it’s going on your permanent records.
Lee:	Chill out for once, Dad. He saved my life.
Commander:	Thanks.
Damien:	It’s all right.
Commander:	All right, take them to the infirmary. Full medical checks.
Damien:	Lee, you know that stuff that I was saying back there in the room – just forget it, all right?
Lee:	I don’t remember anything, champ.

Jason:	Neri!
Neri:	Safe? Mother and friends? Are they – cool?
Brett:	Hey, she’s starting to speak like a real person these days.
Jason:	Yeah, they’re just fine. We were more worried about you.
Neri:	You worried?
Jason:	Sure.
Neri:	Why?
Jason:	So, how did you know about the earthquake?
Neri:	Friend tell me.
Brett:	Which friend?
Neri:	Charley.

Jason:	Who else could have told her? I still have trouble believing it.
Brett:	Yeah, but how do they do it? Do they rap away in her language or in his? What?
Jason:	Look, I don’t know. But until we get some straight answers, we’ll just have to live with the fact that she and this whale can actually talk somehow.
Brett:	Wouldn’t mum be cheesed off if she knew? I mean, she’s sitting in there with a trillion dollars worth of equipment, trying to do the same thing.
Jason:	Yeah, that’s why we’ve got to keep our mouths shut. If they knew, they’d be all over Neri like a rash. So, if you breathe a word of this to anyone, I’ll kill you.
Brett:	They gonna find out for themselves. They’re already picking her up on the screen.
Jason:	Yeah, we’ll have to keep an eye on that. We’ll discuss it later. Let’s go and see how the hero’s getting on.

Jodie:	Wow. Gee thanks, Dags. You don’t know how much it means to me.
Damien:	That’s all right. It’s all right. Hey, Vanessa, you want a t- shirt signed?
Vanessa:	You want your lips stapled together?
Lee:	Move over superman. Damien Geoffries has arrived.
Jason:	You hooked up your guitar and blew the door off.
Damien:	Man, it wasn’t that. I communicated with the door, Jase. Communicated with it with serious attitude. I was just going to show the other guys how I did it – if you want to hang around and watch. Simple really. It’s just a quick chord progression. And on the final chord. Attitude. (sound of electrical short circuts)
Damien:	Oops.